Thursday, April 10, 2008

I'm Not THAT Old!

Sometimes I feel old. Today I feel young. Maybe I'm a schizophrenic... But really, I think it just has to do these kids of mine. When I'm chasing them around the yard yelling (playfully, not angrily), "I'm going to get you!" I feel young. But when they keep running and running and demanding that I chase them more as I fall to the grass and grab my heart gasping for breath, I feel old. Wait a minute. Maybe I'm just having a heart attack. I'd better call my doctor, which I don't have - but that's another story altogether.

I have this habit of getting really, really frustrated with the kids and with Daniel and with other drivers and with the entire world - to the point of strangling them all. Don't worry, I only dream about strangling everyone, I don't really do it. After all, how strong would my hands have to be to strangle entire world? *** My talk about strangling is a joke. Please don't call children's services on me.***

In other words, I'm an angry person. I know, "what??!!" You never guessed that about me, I know. When I'm angry, I feel old. I feel like I'm just too old to be a mom, and I am just too old and too tired of life to enjoy it.

Well, since I said that today I feel young, let me explain. I have a friend who is having her second baby on Monday. She's 41. I started to think about this, and about my feeling old at 28. Already it sounds off to me. I'm feeling that I'm too old to be a mom, but this friend of mine is pregnant at 41. Wow.

So I started doing a little thinking, and that led to me doing a little math (go figure! - pun intended). When Abby graduates from high school, guess how old I'll be?? 41!

Now I feel young, and I sincerely hope that my aforementioned friend doesn't feel old if she reads this. Cause really, you're not.


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