I Hate Ikea.

For years I've loved Ikea. I loved looking through the catalog, looking at the rooms on their website, and watching people on TV design shows use Ikea stuff. I always wished there was an Ikea in Ohio. Well, last week an Ikea finally opened up within 30 minutes of my house. Exciting, right? I just couldn't wait to go there!

Yesterday I went to Ikea for the first time. It was the most horrible experience I've ever, ever had. First, we're told that we are not allowed to use actual shopping carts upstairs. We have to use this stupid one-seater cart with no basket for all three kids and for 5 coats and 2 purses. Then the lady that told us this actually follows me to the elevator to make sure I don't sneak a real cart upstairs. As soon as we get upstairs, we see about 300 people with real carts, so we search until we find an empty one & snag it. Then we walk around aimlessly, following the signs and never really getting anywhere for an hour. There is no quick trip to Ikea. Those Swedish people are marketing geniuses - they force you to walk past every single item they have for sale just to check-out.

Finally, I've had enough beds and couches and cabinets, so I take the boys to get a hotdog in the cafeteria. I wait in line for 20 minutes because the people in front of us just can't get over those Swedish meatballs!!! - and then I'm told that hotdogs are only served downstairs in the stupid Bistro. Great.

Another hour back to my mom and Abby, then another 2 hours to actually get to the Bistro. The elevator you take to go up cannot take you back down, by the way. The down elevator is all the way on the other side of the store. Another genius marketing ploy. Also, you're not allowed to visit the Bistro without paying for your stuff first. AND it seems you can't leave the store without actually buying something, unless an employee physically lets you out. Marketing geniuses. I can just see those rich old Swedish guys laughing at us dumb Americans. "Ya! Das Amerikans stuck in de store all day!"

Anyway, I'm heading back to Ikea this weekend. I walked past a few hundred plants I might be interested in buying.