Monday, March 23, 2009

What's Happening

All kids are different, right? I mean, there is no way you can have three kids and have them all be exactly the same, is there?

My kids are no exception. Of course they are never exactly the same - but they sure are identical in a few areas. For instance, at the exact age of two, they all start having what Daniel calls a "hot foot." They get strapped in the car seat, and immediately have to take off their left shoe and sock. The right one can stay on, no problem. But that left one? It must not be on once the car door closes. No exceptions. All three of my kids did this from the moment they turned two until the moment they turned three.

Now for differences. Ethan has suddenly become "the dressy one." He stands at the closet door when I tell him that I'm going to get a shirt for him to wear. If I even touch a t-shirt, he cries, "No! Shirt!" Lately he hates to wear t-shirts, and prefers button-up shirts. Apparently, t-shirts are not really shirts to him. He also insists on having his shoes put on when I dress him, even if we won't be leaving the house. This is very different from my other two kids. The second they come in the house, their shoes and socks are off. They hate shoes, Ethan loves them. He also insists on wearing a reversible wind-breaker/fleece jacket, while the other two are happy with hoodies. I hope he's not becoming metrosexual.

Another difference - Avery is still noticing that skin colors vary, while Abby seems to be oblivious to this. The other night, as we were waiting for a table in a restaurant, an older black lady sat next to us, and started talking to the kids. Abby politely talked to her about movies and food. Avery took one look at her and announced rather loudly, "You're brown!"

What is the proper response in such a situation? I'm sure the lady knows that she is, in fact, brown. But does she understand that this is purely Avery's own observation? He's never said such a thing before, and we've never said anything like this to him either. He's actually been around people of color before, and said nothing. The kids are just different.

Abby is also learning that other people are not exactly alike, even if she doesn't seem to notice skin color. Generally, Abby makes friends very easily. This is just how kids are, I think. Everyone near Abby's age that she talks to seems to also like her. There are 13 kids in Abby's class, and they all seem to like her. At least up until about two weeks ago.

All of a sudden, there is this one boy in the class who would rather sit and do nothing at his desk than play with Abby during playtime. When Abby told him that we were going away for a weekend trip last week, he said, "I wouldn't want to go anywhere with you." Abby has actually spent at least one playtime crying because this kid wouldn't play with her. The poor girl has never been around a kid her age that didn't like her enough to play.

So, it seems that differences are making things a little tough in our household. You hear so much about celebrating differences these days, that I don't know how to perceive situations such as the boy who dislikes Abby. So, for now I'm just letting her handle it.

I guess that way I'll eventually learn how my kids handle difference on their own.


Shauna said...

Coming over from Christian Woman Blogs! What a great blog you have here :)

Liz McMunn said...

I see the difference issue -- my son can't talk yet, but I'm sort of scared of what he'll say to people. What did you do when Avery said that to the lady who sat down with the kids?

Love your blog, btw, I found it on BlogHer :)

Anonymous said...

all i cam say is at that age.boys just don't know any other way to show they like girles than to treat them bad or ignore them.


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